When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Just puked most of my soul out..
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