At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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