I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
