her vagine was all disorganized.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize