I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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