That's intense
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
