Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
