My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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