I would go down on you faster than GM stock
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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