and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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