hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Send help, water and tortillas.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
