32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
