Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize