so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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