u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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