Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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