put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
My penis needs a shock collar
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize