the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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