I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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