I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
babies were throwing up all over the place
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
