Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
