the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
