pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
