wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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