I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
