it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
