He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
