elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
and you fell through a lawn chair
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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