i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
