How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
