Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
