the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
