I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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