you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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