I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
