I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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