I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize