Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
