at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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