It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
