just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
