Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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