this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
so much tequila, so little girl.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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