im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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