Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
