"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
