I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
