I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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