why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm at about main and main street
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
