You're so nebulous sometimes
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
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