And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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