are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
