You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
