did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
