I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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