"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Plan B is the new Plan A
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
