i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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