there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
