Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
