i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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