NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
