Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Randomize
