Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
