I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
