And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
