The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
