I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
This baby is an asshole
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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