Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
