fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
