Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
