his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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